I’ve been painting today (yes for the other art fair) and boy oh boy, it’s my very happy place. My balm too.
When I returned to painting after many years of being very sensible and earning in an employed capacity, I was so wildly creative, so free and embraced colour and abstracts and being completely random. It worked in the main. But I became troubled. The voices in my head became louder… do I know enough, are my compositions good enough, is this palatable enough?
I embarked on Up To Date training. Oils (which I love) acrylics (also rather like now) sketching (it’s been a go to since I was a pre-teenage ginger) and then I found instagram. Omg the distraction. The shoulds and maybes of trying to be all the things. Let’s try landscapes, let’s try florals, let’s do allll the things. I became homogenised. Well, my work did.
Then last year (January 2025 methinks?) I jumped in to the 100 day challenge-I decided to be a bit flaky and just announce I would explore colour and what it means to me.
Well.
Flaky for The Win.
It changed everything for me. Exploring my love of colour, certain colours, the memories, the triggers and glimmers, the long forgotten glimpse of a pale blue blanket that kept me snuggled as a kid, the satin edging which frayed because I loved it so much. Shiny versus bumpy.
I’ve leaned into it all. The magic of intense colours, saturated and beautiful and rich and meaningful and full of love. It’s who I am. Sometimes bold, sometimes intense, often random.
So my work has once again turned. It’s all the things I love. Last week I tried to paint pretty landscapes and when they were done-ish (at least recognisable as something) I realised they weren’t me. They’re safe and predictable and Quite Nice. Bland.
If I’ve been told anything about myself it’s that I can be impulsive and unpredictable.
Over the last few days those little paintings have evolved into more. A bit bolder, a lot braver, a little wilder and far more me. My hands are filled with paint and my heart is full. They’re not quite finished, but I know they’re going to make me happy.
As I said to a great friend this afternoon, I’m in my fun and f*ck it era.
